Coronavirus or not: keep your grubby mitts away from me

The world has coronapandemonium. So much so, that in the office we have vetoed the radio in favour of Spotify because we cannot listen to the hourly update of how the world is in peril (Pop Punk Powerhouses playlist, anyone?). The main government advice is to cover your mouth when you cough, sneeze into your elbow, and stay home when you’re ill. All of which is sound advice, except… YOU SHOULD BE DOING THAT ANYWAY IF YOU’RE ILL.

HAND-y guide for hand washing (image courtesy of Holy Church of Love Island)

I know the naysayers will chirp from their holier-than-thou pedestals that not everyone has the luxury of working from home when a nasty cold infects the office. Fair play, you can’t expect a surgeon or a scaffolder to work from home without some pretty gory outcomes. But if you can, and I speak on behalf of anyone who has logic, just stay at home. Sneezing on the bus might not seem that deep, but if you’re sat next to a carer who has to go home and look after their unwell partner, it can be more serious than just a sneeze. Likewise the humble cough might seem innocent – unless you’re around a childminder who has to go and care for ten kids. I could go on, but the bottom line is: if you’re ill just stay at home. It doesn’t matter if you’re recovering from coronavirus, a nasty cold or a chest infection, going into work and on public transport is not only draining on you, it’s (Baga Chipz voice) very very harsh on everyone else.

Stunning example of a wise person not spreading their germs, 2020 x

It would appear then, that I am in fact, a germ snob. I am snobby in very few aspects of my life: a list of my ex-boyfriends resembles a Crime Watch roster, and I am a self-professed Wetherspoons VIP. But when it comes to germs, I want nothing to do with my germs, let alone yours. Smother yourself in more anti bac gel than the whole of Glastonbury if you have to. Walk out the room while you’re coughing. Dettol everything around you – no surface left untouched.

Coronavirus has got the world acting mad panicked, but you should treat all illnesses with the same gravitas. Stay at home, sneeze into a tissue and then bin it, and for the love of God, wash your grubby mitts.

One thought on “Coronavirus or not: keep your grubby mitts away from me

  1. Nice one, Rachel.
    People’s behaviours in a crisis are most peculiar…..But why bog-rolls? Do people think that by having a years supply of toilet tissue , COVID-19 is gonna get second thoughts and leave the premises?
    Perhaps they think that they are going to be burdened with constant diarrhoea, despite this being only an issue for a tiny cohort of those who have been infected so far.
    More likely, they saw somebody else doing it and like the simpleton’s so many of the British people are, decided to follow suit…..sheeple!


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